From Our English Soccer Guidebook: The Standard Northern English Town Story
Paul describes his experience and knowledge of the typical northern English town.
As I have travelled around, going to games and exploring random corners of England, I have seen this in every northern town I’ve visited, and you will as well, so we might as well get it out of the way.
- There was a forest with people living here and there.
- The Romans came through, and if the place was important, they built something. A smidgeon of said something remains around here somewhere.
- There was a monastery. Perhaps a bridge.
- There was a plague that killed pretty much everybody.
- The Dark Ages happened, and we don’t know shit about them.
- The town was mentioned in the Domesday Book, and it had a name kind of similar to what it’s called now.
- In medieval times, there were weavers / cobblers / carpenters / whatever working in their homes. There was trade, and the place was kind of important.
- There was something—wood, textiles, beer, pottery, something—for which the place was famous.
- There was a battle or something nearby during the Civil War.
- The Industrial Revolution came, during which:
• Canals were dug.
• Machines took over and enabled massive production.
• There was resistance to machines.
• The machines won.
• Fortunes were made.
• Parks and big homes and brick and stone buildings were built, and art was collected.
• The town was important, and famous people were here, if briefly.
• An entertainer whom old English people will have heard of grew up here.
• It was a polluted, miserable shithole for 98 percent of the poor, wretched people who lived, and died young, here.
- The Industrial Revolution petered out because…competition, technological advances, karma, whatever.
- The wars came, and lots of people died. They were very brave, and there are monuments to them in town.
- The last of the industry died.
- The town almost died.
- Lots of people from South Asia started moving here.
- Now it’s coming back as, well, tourism? Hipsterism? Art colony? Resort area? Cheap place to live that’s fairly close to a nicer place? Something like that.
- Or it’s not really coming back.
- They pedestrianized part of the downtown area.
- There is a large rejuvenation project going on.
- There’s a Christmas festival.
- Most of the locals voted for Brexit.
- The local football club won the FA Cup in about 1923.
- They kind of suck now, but we still love them. They have a new stadium that the old-timers don’t really like.
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this is for test purpose