Colchester United

Of the many signs you are not in the big-time will be the series of photographs around the concourse, showing the highlights of Colchester’s history. They are summarized thusly: that time they won the Cup that only happened four times, the time they beat Bradford Park Avenue in the 1948 FA Cup 4th Round, the time they played Chelsea in the 2006 FA Cup Fifth Round (no score mentioned), and that time they beat Leeds in the 1971 FA Cup.

The last was not just the highlight of Colchester’s history, more or less, but one of the most famous FA Cup “giant killings” of them all, a lowly Fourth Division team beating the mighty Leeds United, top of the First Division, with their 10 internationals. The video — look for it on YouTube — is the stuff of English football legend, supporters-in-trees and all.

In the quarterfinals that season, Colchester went to league champs Everton and lost, 5-0. The other time they made the Fifth Round was that tie against Chelsea, which they lost 3-1 at Stamford Bridge after beating Sheffield United and Derby County.

Otherwise, the history of Colchester United, which started in 1937, is that of a club spending just two seasons, from 2006 to 2008, above the third tier. In 2024, they narrowly avoided relegation, finishing just one spot above the relegation zone due to some crucial late-season points.

2024–25 SEASON: 10th in League Two, 1st Round FA Cup, 2nd Round League Cup

2025–26 SEASON: League Two (relegated in 2016)

It seems to be mainly about Southend United, but they are non-league now. Also mentioned are nearby neighbors Ipswich Town and, for some reason, Wycombe Wanderers.

Colchester Ladies folded in 2013, but was brought back for the 2023–24 season. They have since earned two straight promotions and landed in the Eastern Region Women’s Football League at tier 6 of the pyramid. Check the club’s website for fixture times and locations.

None that we noticed

Everything one hears and reads about Colchester Community Stadium, including from their own fans, is that it’s pretty generic, lacks color, is never even half full and it’s out on the edge of town near an office park. All these things are true. You’ll want to take a taxi out there, as even the buses don’t get particularly close! It’s currently called the JobServe Stadium for sponsorship reasons, and it’s got four modern stands with a total capacity of just over 10,000. One of the stands has JobServe.com written on the seats, and when we were there, the video screen had a “Your Advert Here” message.

Away fans are behind a goal in the North Stand, home rowdies in the South. The best place to sit is the West Stand, which has the best facilities, which still aren’t much.

TOURS: None

GETTING THERE: If you’re coming from London, you’ll arrive at Colchester North Station, as opposed to Colchester Town in the center. Either way, just take a taxi. It’s almost two miles to the ground.

PUBS: There is one at the ground, nothing special, and a nicer option called the Bricklayers Arms near the Colchester North Station. Several others are down in the center by Colchester Town. We also heard good things about the Dog and Pheasant on the way to the ground, and it looked nice from the taxi.

GRUB: Again, there are more options in the center, but we’ll be honest: We had a (lousy) pie at the ground, then hustled back to London after the game!

AROUND TOWN: Let’s put it this way: Wikipedia says the main attractions in town are the football club, the zoo, and “several art galleries.” Colchester Castle does have parts dating to the 11th century and has housed a museum of Roman artifacts since 1860.

Otherwise, allow Paul to share what it was like to see a game at Colchester United. (Here’s his full report.)

My fun was had off the pitch, and in many ways it was the perfect League Two experience. We begin at the train station, where — it being Friday night — taxis were hard to find. In the queue, I spotted a couple guys who had that “football look” about them, so I asked, and indeed they were headed that way and interested in sharing a taxi. Great!

One of them was a Colchester supporter, who pronounced it “Colstah” in his self-described “dodgy Essex accent.” And the other, it would soon turn out, was the CEO of another League Two club! He was on an unofficial trip, meeting his chief scout to help evaluate a couple of upcoming opponents, and the other guy was, I guess, just a buddy of his along for the ride. Because of course the CEO of a Football League club would share a taxi with a mate and some American ticking off the 92. Welcome to League Two!

At the ground, the first thing I chuckled at was in the first minute, when a wayward pass — and not the last — hit a steward in the head. It wasn’t a dangerous thing, so everybody had a laugh and teased him about keeping his head in the game, etc. And then the ball girl couldn’t be bothered to hop over the advertising board to get the ball, so a supporter had to come down from the third row to give her the ball!

At some point in the first half, visiting Newport won a throw-in down at our end, which they were attacking. A kid from their bench ran over and handed him a towel to wipe down the ball, and when he was done he whipped it over his shoulder, and into the first row of seats. The next time he wanted it, the same steward who had taken a ball to the head went over, picked it up, and handed it to him — this time earning a slightly more negative reaction from the home fans.

Again he wiped down the ball, and again he tossed the towel into the seats. Only this time, a supporter went over, picked up the towel, and stashed it under his seat! This was met with universal acclaim, of course, which only got better the next time that Newport wanker came over for a throw-in. He looked for his towel, then at the steward, then a little confused, all the while being battered by insults and taunts, the general gist being “Where’s ya towel, ya wankah?!?!”

It was brilliant, and at halftime I saw the towel-taker in the food queue, being told by a steward that “the people on the radio” wanted him to say something to the bloke that took the towel, “but I told him I couldn’t tell who it was!”

I love League Two football, even when it’s cold and wet and sparsely attended and out on the edge of town. You get to meet club executives, buy tickets on the day, sit where you want, and see goofy stuff like people getting hit by balls and stealing towels. I confess a good game would have been a bonus, but one shouldn’t ask too much of the soccer gods.